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「まずは退避行動!距離をとって様子をみたい」
駄目もとで言ってみた。
「わかりました」
(出来るんだ。ヘッドセットつけといて良かったぁ~)
メイン推進装置が稼働すると電機自動車がモーターで滑り出すように音もなくスムーズに加速する。
「あれか・・・隕石と見分けつかんな・・・倒せそう?」
設置したポッドが敵影を捉え赤くマーキングされている。
「STG装備であればなんであれ倒せます」
「よっしゃ。武装は・・・直射のツインバルカンか・・・当てるのがキツそうだね」
アステロイドの破片を盾にしながらホムスビが回避行動を繰り返す。
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ゲートが光に包まれると次の瞬間にはコックピットにいる。
コックピット内がFPS視点で、それ以外はTPSのようだ。
(それにしてもリアルなFPS視点だな・・・画期的。あるようでなかった)
自分の鼻がわずかに見える。
実際の目のように周囲はボヤけ、見えているようで見えていない状態。視点を動かすと視線の中央付近がもっともハッキリ見え周辺部へいくほど自然にピントが甘くなっていく。視線を下げると下げた量に合わせ上半身、下半身も見える。言うなれば実際の自分視点と同じように見えている。
(オッホ、設定通りとはいえ巨乳だな俺)
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声が聞こえる。
「サイトウさん」
声が、
俺を呼ぶ声が、
聞こえる。
「サイトウさん起きて下さい」
煩い。
寝かせてくれ。
「申し訳ないね、起こしてしまって」
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モニター前のサイトウは顔を引きつらせた。
楽しすぎて、
面白すぎて、
興奮が止まらなくて。
こんな感覚は二十代を最後に失せていた。
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「メーデー!メーデー!」
夢を見ている。
俺が夢を見る時は全て悪夢と言っていい。
今となっては体調のバロメーターでもある。
「嘘、駄目だよ、無理だよ、多すぎる、もうヤダ・・・死にたくない」
悪夢の内容で具合がわかるからだ。
夢に現実の知人が出る場合、悪い中では最も軽い。
長さでもわかる。
軽い悪夢で短いのは更に軽い。
具合が悪いことには変わらないが。
「助けて!助けて!誰か!誰かー!」
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生きている。
また、朝が来た。
肉体が喜びを感じるのが悔しい。
意識は絶望の底を舐める。
馴染みの味。
もう涙も出ない。
悲しむ時期はとうに過ぎた。
叫ぶ体力もない。
サラリーマン時代の貯金の底も見えつつある。
忙しすぎてお金を使う時間が無かったのが不幸中の幸い。
後一年持つだろうか?
節約して一年半。
いずれにしても収入がないのだからジリ貧。
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「信じられん!」
知らず声に出た。
「なになにどうしたの?」
メソは今日も家にいる。
彼女は神出鬼没で、何時間もいる日もあれば十分ぐらい帰ることもある。
まるで忙しいサラリーマンが立ち食いそば屋やコーヒーショップに寄るような感じだ。
「これだよこれ」
彼女は本を読むのを止め俺がタブレットを手渡すと目を通した。
IT機器にけして弱いわけでもないのに彼女は紙の本を読む。
俺は究極的に暇な時、検索サイトのヒャッハー!で質問箱を読むことがある。
ほとんどが嘘みたいな嘘ばかりで、下手なもの読むよりバカバカしくて笑えるからだ。
「世も末だよな!小学生の癖にだよ、『彼とは何時ごろキスした方がいいんでしょうか?』って質問。小五だぞ!ふざけんなよマジで。多分いたずらだと思うんだけどさ、本当に信じちゃう子がいたらどうするんだ。一生のルートが変わっちまうんだぞ。最近のドラマや漫画、ゲームは性的な表現が多すぎるんだよ。その影響に違いない。全くな!二億六千万年早いよ」
どうでもいい話のつもりだった。
心のどこかで、きっと彼女なら「もうやだ~」で俺が「あははは」で終わると思っていた。
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嵐のようなセブンでーず。
マウンテンが帰っていった。
思い出しただけでも鳥肌が。
生還した喜びに一人浸りつつ自分で挽いた豆でコーヒーを飲む。
ふと思った。
皆どうやって付き合い始めるんだ?
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12月に新連載を開始するつもりでしたが延期すること…
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雨に溶ける街で/本名カズトBAND この歌を聞いた…