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2016年6月 – ジュゲの小説
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月別: 2016年6月


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黄レ麗:第八十話:本音

「いない・・か」
どこへ行っているんだろう。
こんな時間なのに。
(先生とどこか行ったんだろうか?なんか言ってたな)
陽はとうに落ち、辺りは暗くなっている。
雨は止むことなく、音もなく降っていた。

胸の辺りがモヤモヤする。

(まさか・・・)
何が「まさか」なんだ。
帰宅途中レイさんのアパートに寄ってみたがいない。
部屋は暗かったけど念のためにノックもした。
公園まで戻ると意識せず彼女と話し込んだベンチの前に居る自分。


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黄レ麗:第七十九話:言霊

(不義理は出来ない・・・そうだ)
私は不義理をした。
一度や二度ではない。取り返しがつかないほど。
(手遅れ)
口に出してみて改めて感じる。
幼かったでは済まされない。
(豚の子は豚)
顔向け出来ない。
会いたい一方で会いたくない自分がいつもいる。
「どういう意味だい?」
「・・・もう恩人である彼を裏切ったからです」
「謝ればいいじゃないか」
先生は平然と言い放った。
まるで簡単なことのように。
「それで済む内容じゃありませんから」
「でも悪いと思っているのなら謝るしかないよね」
「そうかもしれませんが・・・許されることではありません」


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黄レ麗:第七十八話:会話

正門を出た所、バス停に彼女はいた。
ベンチに腰を下ろし傘は立てかけている。
道向かい、やや上空を、見るとはなく眺めているよう。
物憂げな面差し。
内なる自分を見ている。
これほど美しい日本人も珍しい。
欧米化の食事による影響もあろうが彼女の場合は少し違うだろう。
血液的なものを感じる。
両親ではなく祖父母あたりに血が混じっているのではなかろうか。
食事はあまり摂れていないような痩せ方。
あの活力からすると本来ならかなりの大食漢であるはず。
身体は細いが芯は太い。
長身で柳のような様子がない。
今時の男でも無い太さ。


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黄レ麗:第七十七話:麗子

夢のような一日だった。
自分で言うのもおかしいけど、私は一度コレと決めたら折れたことがない。
頑固だと思う。
それなのに先生に委ねた。
自分でもわからない。
どうして任せられたのか。
嫌じゃなかった。

今朝、玄関でマーさんと先生を見た時、目的は聞かずともわかった。
先生に告げられても自分の中に全く抵抗が無かった。
全く予想もしてなかった来客だだったのに、こうなることを自分が待ち望んでいたんだと知った。
とうの昔に諦めた夢。
何度も夢見た幻想。
いつかこの私の人生という牢獄から救いだしてくれる人がいて欲しいと、心のどこかで願っていた。
気が遠くなるほど待った。
裏切られた。
果てに得たレジ袋だらけの錆びた部屋と薄汚れた身体の自分。
もう二度と抱くことのない希望。
諦めていたつもりだった。
いえ、諦めるよりも重い。
冷めきったもの。
全てに対し。


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黄レ麗:第七十六話:こころ

職員室を出る二人。
学校の先生方は祭りのあとのように三々五々に散っていく。
溜まっていた用事を思い出したのか、夢から覚め、急に現実に引き戻されたように、険しい顔を伴い急に慌ただしそうだ。
そんな様を僕はなんとなく見ていた。
先生に促されるまま僕は下駄箱まで二人を見送る。
(何があったのか聞きたい・・・でも・・・)
「じゃあ・・・先生」
「あー、悪かったね呼び出して」
「いえ」
「次の稽古は何時だっけ?」
「え?・・・何時もと同じですから明日です」
「そっか、明日か。明日は二人で来なよ」
先生はレイさんと僕を見た。
彼女は少し躊躇ったように見える。
「はい」
(この躊躇いは何を意味するんだ)
「わかりました」
先生は本当に彼女を弟子にしたいんだ。


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%d人のブロガーが「いいね」をつけました。